Dealing With Difference

Conflict is inevitable … war is not.
Don’t try to avoid conflict. Learn to find opportunity in difference.
Most disputes arise out of a breakdown in communication, and consequent loss of trust. The answer lies in engagement, dialogue and collaboration.
Focus on interests, not on rights and obligations. Be clear what it is you really want – and why.
If you can’t achieve what you want without input from others, you may need to change their minds.
Take responsibility for developing dialogue. Once they feel heard, those others will be much more open to your point of view.
Be curious as to why they see things differently. You can’t change their minds without knowing what is in them.
Have a skilled neutral third party facilitate difficult, high emotion, conversations.
People will fall out, so agree a process now for dealing with future conflicts. Have an expert work with you to design a process that meets your family’s particular needs.
Park the tanks on the lawn if you must, but never abandon diplomacy.

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